The biggest myth most of us buy into is that in order to become happier, healthier and more successful we have to follow the DO – HAVE – BE model.
We DO a diet, hoping to HAVE a thinner, fitter body so we can BE happier. But identity drives behavior and real change is the result of an identity change. If we are looking to have a better body or life so we can be happy, loving or feel empowered we will always be trying to get “there”.
So instead, let’s try the BE – DO – HAVE model, and focus on putting ourselves into the state of being we want, and think from (not about) who we want to be. Then every action we take will be supporting the person we want to become, regardless of circumstances.
One of the great exercises I do to train myself to think independently of my circumstances and awaken powerful positive emotions is a 30-day savoring exercise. Each day I write down everything I can recall about something that happened that day that I want to savor, using all five senses.
If you have a hard time meditating, don’t know what affirmations to say or which intentions to create for yourself, but you want to invest in raising your level of self-awareness and develop the building blocks of happiness, commit to doing this exercise once a day for 30 days. You don’t have to savor a major event. It can be a meal, a conversation, a workout, a surprise phone call, even a dessert you had. Write down every single detail you can recall and activate all your senses because your brain can’t tell if it is happening in real time or in your imagination.
It is truly a beautiful practice to commit to. Do it with your family at the dinner table or at bedtime. Give the challenge to your co-workers or partner and hold each other accountable. Keep a journal on your pillow to remind you to do this exercise as the last thing you do at night so you fall asleep in a powerful positive state.
Remember, our moods are contagious so even if you do it all by yourself and tell no one, you will be making it easier for others to be happier too.