How do you feel when you are talking to someone and in the middle of your conversation they look at their phone and start texting?

The cost of constantly checking your phone is higher than you might think.

When a text message or Instagram notification causes you to look at your phone and split your attention from a meaningful discussion, your attention dwindles and you end up operating on automatic just enough to keep the conversation on track.

The cost of that over time is your relationships. Whether it is with your partner, family or co-workers, multiple preoccupations take a toll on any relationship. Multitasking is a common addiction of modern life.

According to Daniel Goleman, author of the book Focus, “when we ignore someone, rather than relating to them as a person, they experience a kind of rejection or rebuff. And the social brain registers that hurt in the same neural zone that responds when we feel physical pain.”

As a mom, I am finding it harder and harder to keep the devices to limited use.

A while ago, Kellen and I discussed putting our phones (and the kids’ iPads) away in the evening and concentrating on giving each other our full attention. I think it’s time to revisit that idea.

Take the no phone zone challenge with me. That means no phones or devices at meal times and no phones or devices during family time from 5:00pm to bedtime.

During these phone-free hours, you’ll find that you actually do have time to…


– Read a book

– Learn a new language

– Improve a skill

– Workout

– Meal prep for the week

– Spend time in nature

– Meditate

– Journal


– Call a friend

– Do a puzzle with your family

– Play a board game

– Read your kids a bedtime story

– Do arts and crafts

– Talk about your day

– Reach out to family members

Begin to pay attention to how much time you have been wasting on your phone, not engaging with people, nature, life and yourself

Starting today I am reimplementing no phone zone for everyone in my house. Let me know if you will do the same.