Are you a do-gooder?
Do you always want to be fair, nice, and likable?
Are you often putting others’ needs in front of your own to keep the peace?
I used to get so down on myself for being critical or resentful; I thought that as a spiritual seeker, my goal was to rid myself of all negativity. It became clear to me long ago that such a goal was an impossibility, and it led me to realize that perfectionism has no place in our spiritual practice.
Sometimes, in striving to become the best version of ourselves, we can get stuck in a rut of perfectionism, trying to be so “good” that we criticize ourselves for not being “perfect”. This enters us into a cycle of self-judgment in order to promote goodness and that simply doesn’t make sense.
Chasing perfection is like trying to hate yourself to happiness.
Being happy all the time is simply not an attainable goal. Life is rich with its ups and downs, and we wouldn’t really know joy without its opposite: sorrow. Research has proven that it is not the absence of all negativity that leads to a good life, but the positivity ratio (the ratio of positivity to negativity) that matters.
In her book Positivity, renowned researcher Barbara Fredrickson shares that experiencing positive emotions broadens minds and builds resourcefulness in ways that help us to become more resilient to adversity and effortlessly achieve what we could once only imagine. Barbara’s research shows that we need a 3 : 1 ratio of positivity to negativity if we want to achieve optimal levels of well-being and resilience.
When you are below the ratio of 3 : 1, you get pulled into a downward spiral fueled by negativity. When you meet or exceed the 3 : 1 ratio, you put yourself in an upward spiral and you feel uplifted and alive.
So instead of trying to be a perfect Pollyanna, simply focus on experiencing more moments of joy, playfulness, appreciation, awe, hope, interest, pride, serenity, amusement, inspiration and love. Fill yourself up so that when you have something difficult to face, you will be more resilient and creative.
One of my non-negotiable practices is starting my day by putting myself into a positive state.
I want to share with you one of my favorite tracks from Sati365. This is a favorite amongst practitioners, and has not only helped me to break the addiction to perfectionism, but continues to help me and countless others start the day by fueling a healthy positivity ratio.
LISTEN TO “I AM A MIRACLE”:
If you start your day by listening to this 3-minute track, you will put yourself in an upward spiral that will help you break free from the inauthentic positivity and help you move into the awareness that you are programmed for victory.
I encourage you to take the 3 minutes to prime yourself for your best day.